Being brave for 2019 wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when people asked me what my new year’s resolution would be. When I started to think about it I couldn’t really decide what to settle on at first. I started to get most things under control at the end of the year, my ‘me’ time is spent swimming or being at the gym to try to increase my energy levels, although I am still waiting for this to happen as I just feel zapped most days still – though people assure me it will increase my get up and go! I’d gone on a whole stretch of fighting for little man and his needs towards the end of the year and actually achieved what we needed, so are therefore awaiting appointments. So that’s done and dusted… for now, because as we all know FASD is an internal battle, so back to the drawing board!
We sat down the other night and booked a short mini break in April, nothing major. As much as we would love a holiday in the sun where the kids can go to kids club and we can lounge by the pool and drink cocktails and eat all day, we both know and accept that’s not our kind of holiday and to be honest, it never was, even before kids… although I have to admit it seems all the more appealing now we have children. This isn’t going to happen for us; the flight, the crowds, the transfer, the climate, the strange food, having to drink water from a bottle – you name it and it would be a problem, so why set ourselves and little man up for failure before we’ve even started? No, we are going two hours away... Just two hours, but even that is still two hours from comfort and home and still a huge challenge.
My husband recently reconnected with one of his previous foster families, and we feel that it’s a lovely chance to introduce our son’s adoption story to him and explain his similarities with daddy, so that he doesn’t constantly feel like the one who is different and left out. We all have a past that needs exploring. We’re visiting them in a home much like ours where, although it will still be extremely difficult for little man, it will be a change to test his waters and see how he copes, as previous breaks haven’t really been thought through and have normally ended with the majority of us in tears and pain physically or mentally, and actually, thats not a holiday at all, is it? So we are playing safe.
When I woke up at 4:40am with the baby today, I decided how lovely it would be to take him to Peppa Pig World for his 2nd birthday this summer and it hit me! I am brave! We are brave! Just as brave as FASD is and the stand it takes in our family! You might think I am crackers and that a few nights away and a theme park stay is ludicrous to describe as brave, but to me and our family it’s mega brave to the point where I want to award myself a ticket for even thinking about trying, and then produce a trophy for our triumph of actually seeing it through (a winner or a well done for trying trophy will suffice I think, I’ll have 2 made up just in case!).
What I am trying to get at though, amongst my normal babble, is that if you do choose a resolution or whatever this year, make it for you, make it for your child or your family and make it do-able. If we manage 2 trips this year and survive, 2019 will be our best year yet and FASD will not have taken that away from us. It will continue to be a part of us that we can help celebrate and help work towards helping. I’d love to think that I have words of wisdom but I don’t, I just have my words from our real life and this is it.
Enjoy your year as much as you can, be brave, embrace FASD and work with whoever you can to help spread the word! #beaware #FASD
Happy New Year Everyone xx