One thing I find really difficult is turning negatives into positives. I was told today by a very old dear friend that I used to always see the glass half-full. Since becoming a mum to our FASD boy, I have gotten very glass half-empty and people miss the old me. So, for today's challenge I have decided to set myself a task, I have decided to take the most negative points about FASD in our son and his behaviours that are coming out, and turn them into possitives... Or at least try. Sit back. Relax and enjoy.
I’m sure on of these days his energy will rub off on me, help me loose weight and therefore give me more energy than I’ve ever had before. It’s been over three years and it hasn't happened yet but there's always hope right? I mean I’ve lost a stone since the school holidays begun, so he must be doing something right, right? He might become a personal trainer and therefore at least give me free PT sessions? Or free coaching? He may go into politics? I mean they always say politics don’t sleep. He could be a rock star, they don’t sleep either, they tour and rock out for hours, thats almost the perfect job for him! See nothing but endless career aspirations for my little pocket rocket.
Sleepless nights/difficult going to sleep patterns – If I had horrible neighbours this would be fantastic, unfortunately I have nice neighbours (apologies if they’re reading this). It’s also certainly made me less scared of the dark, I can now get out of bed without thinking that some one is going to break in a kidnapp me.
Control issues – He will eventually have a very well trained dog in the future or run the country.
Attitude – He could make us millions by acting? Yes, that is definitely the way to look at this one. Also when you are in the supermarket and the FASD in your child is screaming at you very dramatically with sheer attitude you can also turn to people and say, we’re in character, this is what alcohol does to a growing child in the womb – trust me I’ve done this before and its made peoples jaws drop but given me endless laughter in shops! However, my husband doesn’t appreciate my dry sense of humour as much as I do. He holds his own in an argument, I’ll give him that and really would I want any different? Not really, I love that he stands his ground (most days that is, not every day).
This is saving us lots of money, no need to spend money on any lessons, he already knows everything there is to know! Or so he likes to tell us. I would love him to learn the obedience of martial arts or boxing but according to him he doesn't need to so theres a ton of money left in our pockets for now. His violence has helped me speak up, his helped me help others and to teach others that child parent violence is not acceptable. It is a real thing despite what others think or believe, despite the fact that people laugh when you tell them your son is the reason your arms are bruised, or the fact that family don't believe that your child is aggressive and you must be doing something wrong as a parent. I can proudly speak up for others and hopefully help others to know that child parent violence is a real issue and you can get help or at least ask for it or talk to someone.
This has majorly helped me to get over my baby brain after having my birth son, I can now almost fully remember what I walked into the room for and what I went to the shops for. I remember to check that he is dressed correctly everyday and that he has his water and reading folder for school (even if most Monday’s I have to run back home to grab his PE kit)... I’ll take that as a win! I remember to get to work on time, actually I almost run out the door most weekends (I wonder why?) and I always remember to say the same things day in day out so not to ruin his morning or afternoon or evening. I’m like a broken record now.
I’m not quite sure I can swing this in a positive light yet although I do have a hopeful positive outlook, I’m sure once his brother is taller than him and therefore, "more growned up,” in his words. I could potentially trick him into wanting his vegetables?